Movie Monday: Giggling Through the NO.

Posted by Wombat Central on January 12, 2015 in Friends, Laughs, Shopping |

Just a short and silly bunch of leftover clips from last week’s video. Enjoy!



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Dashing Through the NO.

Posted by Wombat Central on January 6, 2015 in Christmas, Shopping |

A hearty happy new year to you, dear reader! Where has the time gone? I’m finally emerging from an extended remix of Christmas break, since my kiddos were sick the last week of school before break.

On to the project of the day. Or Month. Okay, confession time: I’ve been meaning to do this video for the last three years. Thing is, every time I thought about it, I was smack in the middle of the Christmas crazies and wasn’t able to carve out the time to git ‘er done. I decided I’d finally do it, but not force myself to produce it before Christmas.

This way, we have ample time to watch it, right? Hope you likes it, my little reindeer.

Disclaimer: I do, in fact, realize I’m not even qualified to fill the water glasses of the American Idol judges. Thing is, Taylor Swift was too busy delivering gifties to her online besties to sing this for me (note to self: DM Taylor early next year!), so I was forced to belt out yet another holiday beauty myself.



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While I Was Out Shopping

Posted by Wombat Central on December 6, 2014 in Christmas, Entertainment, Shopping |

Even if you don’t consider yourself much of a shopper the other 11 months of the year, December has a way of making retail zombies out of even the most ardent anti-retail people.

I do enjoy shopping, as is evidence by this recurring blog post theme, but I actually enjoy it less during the hustle and bustle of December. So, I always have the handy dandy camera at the ready to keep things interesting. Why not have some fun while you’re rubbing elbows with complete strangers, right? (note to self: put hand sanitizer on the list)


(wait, what?)

(wait, what?)


After wandering through the deer hunting section of a sporting goods store, I realized that there’s an entirely different world out there I know nothing about:

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Note the words “habit forming” on the bottom of the label. Sounds very “sporting,” doesn’t it?


I wonder if that’s anything like window lickers:



Something like that...

Something like that…


On that note, I found something for the dog lover in your life:

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And something for the wine lover who wants to look like she’s just enjoying a waffle cone, but is really looking to forget the mess her kids made of the dentist’s waiting room today:

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If you can’t live without your beloved akkahol at work but the boss frowns on consuming it during bizness hours, consider paying homage to your favorite cocktail with this delightful tape dispenser:

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Because nothing says “A raging alcoholic lives in this cube” like an effing olive-shaped tape dispenser clinging to a fake martini glass.



Well, this clever frame would save me the trouble of putting on my own fake mustaches in stores:

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But it wouldn’t be nearly as fun as Mustaches at the Mall:

Victoria's real secret



You may look almost as cool as Olivia Pope in these outfits, but you still won’t be on a first-name basis with the president.


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These are grown-up clothes. From the not-a-child-in-sight section of the store. Where people who are too old to wear Disney characters are supposed to be shopping. You can be sure, however, that the adult purchasing these has a pair of Pooh bibbed overalls at home. And wears them to work:

Chances are the same person wearing this owns a pair of Pooh overalls. And wears them.

Oh, sweet Jeebus they have matching pants. They’re like adult Garanimals straight from Hell.


Did you know I have a thing for fun socks?

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Yes. Yes I am.


I thought these were pretty great, too, but I couldn’t explain any of these away, should my kids catch sight of my feet. Or the laundry.

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Just lift your pant leg to reveal what you’re really thinking without actually having to say it.


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I’m just here for the free cookies, beeyutch


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But if they buy you cool socks, you might forgive them.



I know the world loves bacon everything right now, but this kinda crosses a line. This is frosting, people. Sweet, sugary tastes-like-dessert frosting. Not gosh-I-love-having breakfast-cake frosting. I think strawberry or cherry frosting is excitement enough for us all. This is just looks like a great big pile of diarrhea in a can:

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Please tell me those aren’t bacony sprinkles on top. Also, calling it “Limited Edition” doesn’t make it look any less revolting.


And on that note…


Find anything fun while shopping for Christmas?


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This Video Wouldn’t be Nearly as Dramatic With Waterproof Mascara

Posted by Wombat Central on December 3, 2014 in Music |

The chair I sit in while I’m on the computer is having some kind of identity crisis. Either that or it’s near the end of its life. It’s bad enough that my legs go numb while perched here due to the flattened foam (Who would have thought foam actually flattens. It totally does. The proof is under me arse.)

The new trick it does is after I’ve been sitting here a while, it slowly deflates. Every few minutes the seat lowers by half an inch to an inch, until I feel like I’m a kid who should be at the kiddie table for Thanksgiving dinner, but there wasn’t room and I got shoved in with the adults.

And my hands are typing way up high while my arse is way down low. Kinda like ape hangers on a Harley or something. Totally not ergonomically friendly.

ape hangers

Like this, but put a keyboard up where his hands are.


I’ll be typing along: clickity clickity clack…

and whoosh.

I’m shorter.

Clickity clackity click…

Whoosh. Even shorter.

Clackita clackita click…

Low rider.

I think I’ll finally have to give in and buy a new chair.

If I can reach the keyboard to order one.




Here’s a very short, completely unrelated convo:


Girly: Is that your favorite song this week?

Me: Yep.

[What was the giveaway? That you’ve heard it more than six times in a half hour?]


I feel like I should be singing, “Song of the week *snap, snap* song of the week, *snap snap* to the tune of the Addams Family theme.


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I Got Time for That

Posted by Wombat Central on December 2, 2014 in Computers |

How did I never know there was an autotune remix of “ain’t nobody got time for that?” What’s that? You didn’t either? Well let’s serve some of that up right now:


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