Order Now–Operators are Standing By!

Posted by Wombat Central on April 15, 2014 in Uncategorized |

I’ve been blogging for about six years now, and I still often feel like a newbie when it comes down to some of the techie stuff.

derpy frenchi

Derpy Derpy Doo!

I’ve had a subscription feature near the top of my right column for what seems like forever, and I’m just now realizing the dang thing doesn’t seem to work (thanks for the head’s up, B and Pedro).

That’s where YOU come in, my beloved reader! I know some people use RSS feeds, but if you don’t, and you’d enjoy getting a sweet email from me when I post, plug in your email address over there to the right of this post, and click the button to make it happen.

It will be just like we’re back in study hall and I’m passing you a note that I carefully folded into a triangle and flicked onto your desk with my thumb and middle finger.

Except this note won’t be professing my undying love for a boy in senior high. And we won’t have the benefit of seeing him 20 years later, balding with a beer belly.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore.







Movie Monday – See This, Not That

Posted by Wombat Central on April 14, 2014 in Entertainment, Movies |

I guess last Monday’s edition (which proves what a lame-o blogger I’ve been, since it’s only two posts back on here) was kinda the same thing where I took my little cinema lobby broom and whisked you back outside to save you from spending half your paycheck on a sticky movie seat, a whale-worthy bag of stale popcorn, a sooper-sized soda (’cause it’s only a nickel more), and Junior Mints (which will forever remind me of the Seinfeld surgery scene). Because I care. And I’m cheap.

This one is different, though, because they’re something you can watch in the privacy (Say that like the Brits do with the soft “i.” It’s way more fun) of your own home. Well, one is something you shouldn’t watch, because you’d be better off scrubbing that ring out of the terlit or bedazzling your toenails.

First, the don’t: The Five-Year Engagement. Uh mah gah, we will never get that hour and a half back. And we didn’t watch the whole thing. Sometimes we’ll skip ahead to the end of a bad movie to see how it turns out, but we simply didn’t care enough about these characters to even peek at the ending.

They could have all been lying in a pool of their own fluids at the end for all we know.

We were just happy that they’d left our TV screen.

Leonard Maltin found the characters believable and endearing, but he also looked all wide-eyed and crazy like, so don’t believe him. They were neither believable nor endearing, and they made me want to go all stabbity on the TV.

Leonard even mentions that Jason Segal co-wrote and starred in The Muppet Movie that I praised so highly last week, which makes it even more odd that this was so sucktastic, but there it is.

5 year engagment edit

ear wax vac


Now for the Do: Frozen! Yes, I know it’s an animated kiddie movie, but they always dapple them with plenty of giggles for the adults, and you seriously need to join me in breaking into song whenever you utter the words, “Let it go.” That will diffuse any heavy crap you have going on. Plus the reindeer is totes adorbs. See? Now I’m talking like one of the kids. You will too. Other adults will love you for it.

And by “love you for it,” I mean they will want to high five you. On your forehead. With a chunky-ass shoe.

Please tell me what I should rent next…


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Wait, What?

Posted by Wombat Central on April 13, 2014 in Shopping |




Movie Monday – Muppets, Um… Mostly Wanted

Posted by Wombat Central on April 7, 2014 in Movies |

Who doesn’t love the Muppets?! Well, now that we’re putting that question right out there, my kids don’t. That’s who. I guess it’s a generational thing. They find Beaker creepy, which I just can’t compute, but I’ll win them over eventually. I caught The Girly giggling at the Highlander commercial starring the Muppets, so I know there’s hope.

When The Muppets came out in 2001 (holy cow, I would have seriously said it was last year if I hadn’t just looked it up on IMDB. I need to get out more), I splurged and went to the theatre to see it. We don’t do a lot of theatre trips, just because there aren’t often many movies out that warrant that price tag for us. But that movie did not disappoint.

We howled. We hooted. We sat through all the credits and begged for more. We left the theatre still chuckling, as we relived the highlights of the film.

The newest Muppet flick? Not so much. I love me some Liz Lemon, but I wasn’t McLovin’ Tina Fey in this role. The funniest scene with her was shown in the previews, so even that didn’t tickle mah funneh bone. Bummer, too, because I had high hopes. There is a pretty decent Swedish Chef scene and some good Beaker moments, as well as a few chuckles as the Russian Kermie imposter attempts to sounds like Kermit, but that’s about it.

I’d say it’s worth a Redbox rental when it comes out, but steer clear of the theatre for now and keep your cash for the froyo place. The one that opened up most recently here has Cap’n Crunch in their toppings lineup.

Mmm. Cap’n Crunch.

Just watch the roof of your mouth.  (does that happen to everyone with that cereal?)

If you’re hankering for some Muppet fun, go back and watch this one instead:


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It Finally Stopped Raining

Posted by Wombat Central on April 4, 2014 in Home Improvement, Shopping |

In mah fridge.

Well, technically, we got rid of the fridge, so I have no idea what it’s doing in there now, but it isn’t raining in the new fridge, and that’s a good thing.

Ooh, Wombat–please tell us more about this fridge!


Clearly I’ve left you far too hungry for new posts here, since you find fridge chat titillating. Very well, then. I’ll oblige.

Vital stats:



Water/ice in door

Fridge pretty roomy

Freezer capacity roughly that of my navel

No raindrops in sight in this model. I am pleased.

Good Lawd, I’m blogging about my new appliance.

Perhaps I should show you a pic of what I had for lunch while I’m at it.

Except that I didn’t have lunch on account of the fact that I was CLEANING ALL THE THINGS! on the fridge, and that took me a while. Then I had to go retrieve all the cold/frozen things from other peoples’ fridges and freezers, since I was without an appliance for several hours.

Now Mr. Wombat has to hook up the water line. I didn’t want Mister Dirty Hands delivery dude to do it, because–ick. They were both very nice and polite, but… dirty hands guy just wasn’t on the invite list to my water filter install party. No hard feelings, delivery dude.

Not only were they polite, neither one asked to use the restroom, which was a plus. Because I would have had to tell them how the Stanley Steemer guy ruined that privilege for every service person for the next 100 years.

I’m always careful these days not to get too chatty with service guys lest they begin to feel comfortable enough in my home to request a bathroom visit. Because that’s just never going to happen again, any and all who follow Stanley Steemer man through the door.

Here was a surprising and impressive portion of the delivery–they didn’t use an appliance dolly. How 2013 that would be! Instead, they pulled on a set of oompa loompa straps and carried that rain-filled summabetch right out the door! Then they strapped on the new one and waddled right into mah kitchen!

Here’s a picture I found of the straps. Holy hallucinations–it’s a lady hauling a dryer! Good on ya, girl!

I've never seen this on TV. Must be they show it at 3am for insomniacs who like to tote around appliances

I’ve never seen this on TV. Must be they show it at 3am for insomniacs who like to tote around appliances


Also, her hair is perfectly coifed for the move. She’s awesome.


Next up: Just call me Mother of the Year

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Movie Monday – Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Posted by Wombat Central on March 24, 2014 in Cartoon People, Movies |

When the kiddies told me they wanted to see this movie, I’ll admit I was a bit more enthusiastic than I usually am about kid flicks. Most animated films these days manage to wedge in humor that sails over the wee heads of the under 18 crowd, so they’re not bad* for the most part. Since this was centered around characters from my childhood, it seemed promising.

I even phoned a friend to ask if she wanted to join us, but she’s a TV purist who knew she’d be vexed by a voice that didn’t match the memory of her beloved Mr. Peabody. I understood what she was saying almost immediately when I recognized the vocalizations of Ty Burrell as Mr. Peabody. Most actors seem to alter their voices a bit for animated films, but he actually uses this persnickety voice frequently on the show. He was a decent Mr. Peabody, though, and that was really all that mattered to me.

Ty’s Modern Family co-star was far from likable, but Ariel Winter voiced the part well. Perhaps her character, Penny Peterson, was, if nothing else, a fine example for little girls on how NOT to behave.

My favorite part about the movie was that it mixed science, history, and humor into one fun little package. The kids loved the fart jokes (obviously), and this adult thought it was a fun flick. A good time was had by all. We’d rate it two paws up:





*Turbo was that bad. Even the sultry voice of Ryan Reynolds as the lead character wasn’t enough to hold my attention. Also, he was a snail, and there’s not a lot of sexy going on there. Show me the abs, Ryan, show me the abs.

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